Advent Meditation by Anonymous
Sunday, December 21, 2008
And in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God unto a city of Galilee, named Nazareth, to a virgin espoused to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David; and the virgin’s name was Mary. And the angel came in unto her, and said, Hail, thou that art highly favoured, the Lord is with thee: blessed art thou among women. And when she saw him, she was troubled at his saying, and cast in her mind what manner of salutation this should be.
And the angel said unto her, “Fear not, Mary: for thou hast found favour with God. And, behold, thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and bring forth a son, and shalt call his name JESUS. He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the Highest: and the Lord God shall give unto him the throne of his father David: And he shall reign over the house of Jacob for ever; and of his kingdom there shall be no end.”
Then said Mary unto the angel, “How shall this be, seeing I know not a man?”
And the angel answered and said unto her, “The Holy Ghost shall come upon thee, and the power of the Highest shall overshadow thee: therefore also that holy thing which shall be born of thee shall be called the Son of God. And, behold, thy cousin Elisabeth, she hath also conceived a son in her old age: and this is the sixth month with her, who was called barren. For with God nothing shall be impossible.”
And Mary said, “Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word.”
And the angel departed from her.
+ + + + +
The road seemed endless that winter night as she drove home from college. It had been a typical day of 3 hour long classes, a study group and checking in with the holiday festival theater group she would be working with leading up to the Christmas break.
But her mind was not on classes and festivities. No, she was still debating with herself what she should do with the unborn child she just learned she was carrying. She had been telling herself this was not what she thought it was for the past 5 weeks, but the medical tests confirmed it. She was sure they had been so careful and responsible with each other for the past two months of the affair. Also, thoughts of how to tell the father, who was older than her, about this and what she wanted. What did she want? To interrupt her college experience to have a child with all that that would entail? To get married, or at least live with the father and begin a life of family and long term relationship? To not get married, but also not involve the father either; just live as a single mom? How to support herself and the child? What will her parents think or how will they react? Her thoughts of fitting in with friends and peer groups also crowded her mind because she would be giving up so much of her young adult life if she had a child.
The affair started so effortlessly: a social dance, having fun with him, he was so sure of himself and also was a professional who was gainfully employed and could afford to treat her to nights out in the city nearby to their rural town. Yes he was older, wiser and presented a diversion from her student lifestyle. She had found him much more interesting than the guys her own age. He didn’t press her for her time or fail to show up when he said he would or even forget the smallest of things that she liked. Crossing over into a more full relationship with him occurred so easily for her she didn’t give it a second thought.
But now, she has reached his house because she wants to tell him first. The familiar light on the porch and the front room lamps are lit. She knows already as she slowly trudges up the walkway what she is going to do. She wonders what he will say or want from her but knows in the same instant she isn’t going to be able to commit to anything right now…. or possibly ever. The door is opening before she reaches it and the affection and welcome she is so familiar with awaits her and her decision. Her life is at a crossroads and she knows by the look on his face that he knows what she has just decided since she had told him that she had something important to talk with him about tonight,,, as the snow softly begins to fall.